We tried to go to church this morning, but we never made it out the door. Acadia had her morning episode and that pretty much took away any thoughts we had of getting to church. She has been having 2-4 episodes per day now. These are mixed states of surging energy and dark thoughts, which usually results in screaming, crying, hitting herself and others, and raging through the house making huge messes. Other times she is just irritable or hyper and silly. The most disturbing thing right now is her fixation on trying to figure out why life is worth living. She also has this heightened spiritualality or as Dan described it this morning a "God complex". When she is upset she starts talking (or yelling, or crying) to God and asking him to do things or answer her questions. It's strange, I want her to pray, to reach out to God in the midst of her struggles, but this is not quite right. She was frantically searching her Bible this morning for verses that tell parents not to torture their children. She was praying that we would stop being cruel to her and that God would help her show us how wrong we are. She keeps telling us to do what God wants us to do. Then she sits there and screams that she is doing what God wants her to do. She wanted us to go to church so that we would learn something.
Since all that blew over, she's been okay this morning. She has these hours of being calm before she explodes again. We've decided to keep her at home unless she tries to injure herself or someone else, or unless the episodes get closer together again.