Monday, October 15, 2007

Will today be the day?

I spent an hour fighting with Acadia to eat something. She hates breakfast. Especially when she gets up early and sneaks a cookie or something. She got very angry and aggressive. I worked on calming her down, but as soon as I got her calm she'd refuse to eat or take meds and get out of control again. She hit Lily in the stomach, and then apologized and said it was an accident because she didn't "mean" to do it. I finally got her to say that she would eat a pear, but there was only one left and Lily had already asked for it. So I got out a knife to cut the pear in half, and Acadia started screaming, "No, don't do it, don't cut the pear, I don't want it if I can't have the whole thing!" She was grabbing my arm and pulling on me. I carefully put the knife down and went to check with Lily that she still wanted some. Of course she did. I turned to go back in the kitchen and Acadia threw something at me. I ducked. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? It wasn't the knife, it was a paintbrush. She has, so far, always grabbed the closest thing to her, but never anything sharp. Thoughts began flashing through my head, is she going to grab that knife? Is today going to be the day? Are we even going to make it to Maryland, or am I going to have to admit her here? She didn't do it. I cut the pear, she took it, and went into the livingroom. She watched Sesame Street while she ate her pear.
Now she's obssesed with packing for the trip. Meaning she is intensely focused on only that one thing she wants to do, and refuses to do anything else. She's highly anxious and agitated and can't stop. Can't stop moving, can't stop thinking about packing, can't do anything else. What I wanted to do was morning routine, schoolwork, packing. But she can't think or focus, so I had to do morning routine, packing, and schoolwork if we can. She got her routine done (phew!) and took her meds (praise God) Right now she is tearing around trying to find clothes to pack, and ignoring my suggestions and offer to help. She's yelling at her packing list. We have to go pick up the car at the garage so that we can get her backpack. She's really mad about not having her backpack to pack RIGHT NOW. Oh yeah, I have to get me and Lily packed too. I better get going.

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